It’s officially election season in Berlin and you know what that means: the streets are covered in the muted tones of German parliamentary democracy!
Berlin is electing a new state government for the third time in five years, and the people of Berlin are the beautiful canvas on which these regional politicians paint their hopes. The initial scramble for valuable billboard real estate is over and you can delineate each party’s strategy—both the good and the bad.
With the same enthusiasm a child shows for a dentist appointment, let’s subjectively appraise how effectively each party visually presents its case for election in public spaces. No one will be spared.
BSW (Bündnis Sahra Wagenknecht) or We promise we are still a thing
Everything about BSW screams discount-store Die Linke, from the ugly gradient on white to the edgy slogans. BSW’s approach to this election involves screaming very loudly that they dare to say things no one else will say (including, I’ll grant them, that criticism of Israel is not inherently antisemitism). But it’s all coming off as desperate attention-seeking behavior. The slogan “Dangerously honest” is not dangerous at all when your posters are hanging next to AfD posters openly demanding deportations. Their use of (possibly) AI and surreal stock images drags their score down further into the mud.
Grade: D-
The FDP (Free Democrats) or We can afford more expensive suits than the AfD
Following the BSW, the FDP is another entry for the “What are we doing here?” category. Some points for understanding basic color contrast rules: yellow on deep blue is legible. But the FDP’s strategy largely consists of man (and occasionally woman) in suit oozing competence paired with their own brand of BSW-reminiscent edgy, focus-group approved slogans. Unfortunately, the slogans aren’t enough to reignite life in the eyes of the competence-clad candidates, who all project the personality of a corporation’s quarterly financial report.
Grade: D
The AfD (Alternative for Germany) or Please don’t vandalize our posters
The best thing about the AfD’s posters is that they’re nearly impossible to read. In a pretty puzzling move, the party has opted for text slogans that feature cut-out letters set against a shade of blue that’s barely lighter than the background. No one can read them from more than five meters away, which is great because otherwise they’d be subjected to a litany of racist dogwhistles and nativism. The candidate posters are even worse—weirdos radiating used-car-salesman energy in ill-fitting suits. Proximity to power doesn’t always mean a good tailor, apparently.
The AfD is third to last because of their coherent placement strategy. Most are placed at the top of tall lanterns, making them hard to reach and vandalize. They’re clearly concentrating on their beloved driver demographic as every big thoroughfare or artery near me is plastered with these monstrosities. Points for knowing your voter, I guess.
Grade: D
The CDU (Christian Democrats) or Please forget the last 3 years
Enough has been said about the CDU’s atrocious visual language, but I’ll say it again: What did Microsoft PowerPoint do to you to make you this way? Every mint-turquoise-colored poster triggers involuntary revulsion in me. Berlin is many things, but it is not Niedersachsen or a mid-sized industrial firm with questionable relations with Azerbaijan.
The CDU’s slogan “Berlin will (be).” (Berlin wird.) is an open admission of failure and plea to the party faithful to trust the process. “Berlin will be clean,” “Berlin will be hardcore,” Berlin will never forget the series of scandals that brought down Kai Wegner. The slogan itself is inconsistently applied and at odds with frontrunner Stefan Evers’s conservatism, mixing the future and the past in “Berlin will be safe again.” The CDU is clearly stuck in a time warp and to top it all off, I’m pretty sure most candidates didn’t bother to take new portraits for their posters.
Grade: D+
The SPD (Social Democratic Party) or This time we’re really going to do it differently
Finally, the neckties have come off and the top buttons are open. The SPD is here with their slogan “Wieder Berlin” (“Berlin again”) to remind you that they’ve continuously been in power for the past 35 years. A lot has changed in Berlin over that time, but not the SPD, who think another dose of extreme centrism and triangulation will save the day.
The SPD gets some points for putting somewhat understandable slogans on their posters and hiring professional photographers to do their portraits (while skimping on whoever did the post-processing). But the slogans fall flat considering how the SPD has actively contributed to the problems it wants to solve. Let’s not even get started on the horrific, migraine-inducing plastering of “Wieder Berlin” behind everything. An overall adventure into the “uncanny valley.”
Grade: D+
Die Grünen (The Greens) or Would you believe we always look this cool?
Points to the Greens for solving the SPD’s “uncanny valley” portrait problem by irradiating their candidates with camera flash and placing them in front of natural backgrounds.
But minus points for the dazing and confusing visual style for their slogan posters, which half-heartedly emulate the ‘90s snapshot, indie-sleaze aesthetic you’re more used to seeing in American Apparel ads. I guess Berlin is sexy again; it’s expensive, that’s for sure. For a party that obviously cares more about optics than their policies, it fits.
While I just gave them points for their less uncanny portraits, I’m going to subtract those points again after looking a bit closer and realizing this style is not very flattering for your average Green candidate who would look more at home in biking activewear than bomber jackets. At least they didn’t make everyone green like in the last election.
If the Greens have a slogan for this election, I’ve already forgotten it.
Grade: C-
The Left (Die Linke) or Mamdani was here
I can’t believe I’m going to say this about a left-wing party, but The Left’s campaign is a little too clean. Don’t get me wrong, the red and purple on white works, it’s a nice typeface. But they could have had more fun with it, added a bit more whimsy and Berlin to the whole thing.
Mamdani’s campaign succeeded in part due to its iconic design: bold, flashy colors complemented by organic, hand-drawn-looking flourishes and fonts. The branding stood out among the bombardment of sanitary, safe, and ultimately corporate branding of other candidates. A missed opportunity, in my opinion.
Mamdani’s influence surfaces everywhere else, though, with the party’s big, bright portraits of Elif Eralp—their candidate for mayor—and simple, punchy affordability-focused slogans. The slogan “Berlin bezahlbar machen” (Make Berlin affordable) is fine in its focus on economic issues, but maybe a little boring. It still beats the meaningless waffling of the other parties.
This campaign is not the worst I’ve seen from a left-wing party (believe me, I’ve spent years in the deep, dark, clip-art world of socialist politics). But it could have been better.
Grade: B
Special mention: Volt or Hehe we said a swear word
The Erasmus FDP is back and no one asked for it. Volt lands here as a special mention because I can’t just ignore an attempt that is so blatantly out of touch—with its sanitary provocation (“unf*ck Berlin”) and bizarre superhero portraits with candidates looking off into the distance like Superman. No, Hertie School graduates, we do not think you are here to save the day. Hands off my flat—don’t try to evict me so you can convert it into a condo for sale.
Grade: Do another internship in Brussels
